I think USA has made of me a very cynical, assertive person and I don't see it as a bad thing, because although both terms have been often used in a derogative way, I seriously think I am actually better off like this. Recently I had a conversation with someone from the lab about the word assertive. If a man is assertive it is actually considered a quality it means you know what you want and how to get it. If a woman is assertive it usually has the connotation of being a bitch. And yes someone has already called me that recently but they also added that someone had to be. I did not take it as an insult I think telling your opinion no matter should be regarded as a good thing and not as being a bitch...
Being the nice girl only gives you one thing, actually two: failure and disappointment. Being a punch bag (aka good girl) is just not that cool, trust me on this one!
I remember a conversation I had a few years ago with one of the most important PIs from this university. He told me in very blunt words that if I want to succeed I would need killer instincts and the old guy was definitely right.
Last years have been rough on me and one thing I learned, most people won't respect you unless you show them you are also able to play the game. Yes it is a negativistic way of seeing others, but in my opinion with rare exceptions (usually close family and good friends) every single person wants something from you and you seriously need to know how to defend yourself. If you can, avoid or ignore these people but if you just can't, pick your fights wisely, you need to be able to recognize the big dog and avoid confrontations, this doesn't imply you have to say amen to every single thing he/she says but always weigh your words and try to outsmart the big dog if you can.
So do not forget: put your game face on and let's do this... I still have a few aspects to improve in my game but trust me, I am a fast learner!
Sun Tzu
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