Today I had a very enlightening conversation with a girl from my lab. Basically we share the fact that we are almost done with our Phds. She is thrilled to be finishing, I on the other hand I am scared as hell. That made me think, what do I fear? I don't actually fear finishing Phd, what is after, is what is worrying me. Obviously it is frustrating to finish your Phd without the complete story, specially because I kind of put my life on hold for this. And yes I know that was my choice, so only one person to blame there. Anyway, if you have been following me you know that last few months I have been thinking about the future and leaving science... I still do not have an answer but for the sake of it, I started looking for postdoc positions, because no doubt about it, it would be the easiest solution. But even that poses a problem because I want a lab in a big sunny city (I hate New Haven, and its weather) with lots to do, but I would like a competitive lab, but a competitive lab will be for me to work a lot and not enjoy myself (which is what I have been doing for the past 4 years and I can not stand it anymore), on the other hand if I do not choose a good lab, probably I am endangering the chances of getting future jobs. Ok, Phd has made me a very indecisive person, it is not like 4 years ago, I had a problem in choosing lab for the Phd, actually it was a very easy choice, and look where it got me? After writing this I realize that I am fucking confused and that the use of the word enlightening in this text is just ridiculous! IGNORE ME, I am rambling and making absolutely no sense, but since I took the time to actually write this you will have to read it, or not, it is your choice!! Ohhh, with all this I forgot to tell you guys about her advice, she told me to do pros and cons lists, I think is good advice and I will follow it =)
Queen Bee
PS1: I wish I was as productive at writing my thesis as I am at writing bullshit in my blog, after long hours burning my eyelids I have now 3 sad pages =( and still no name for my protein. My boss the other day during a meeting said as a joke:" the name of your protein is killing me, we should rename it to coc, I am pretty sure the name is not taken". Since he has returned from Portugal, he has let his beard grow (like a homeless guy) and now he has the jokes of a portuguese construction worker, I am sure that Portugal doesn't suit him
PS2: Just to add that this post was not written under the influence of anything. But I have heard that alcohol is the cure for almost everything so maybe I should start doing it.
No comments:
Post a Comment